Breathing
by drvvh
Summary: Post ep. Body Count Calleigh has to deal with the death of a friend and Tim is their to help her.
1. tears of pain

Disclaimer: Their not mine,okay? 

authors: Dorothy and yana 

rating:pg-13 

Spoilers:Body Count 

Pairing: Speed/Calleigh 

******************************** 

Calleigh laid on the bed, tears streaming down her checks, sobs racking her body. Everything had just come to a head and here she was sobbing uncontrollably. 

She hated to cry. She hated not being the constant rock that she had assumed as her roll long ago. She wasn't allowed the luxury of tears and pain growing up why should she take advantage of that now? 

But something had happened and here she was crying out all of her pain and anger and lose and frustration. Some how those prisoners had found a way out and one of them had killed her best friend. 

When she walked onto that beach and saw the police tape surrounding the body of Janet Medrano, the first tears in what felt like years started to come and never stopped. 

And that made her so mad. She had lost her best friend and that had caused her to set aside her tough as nails exterior and break down in front of her colleagues. She had never wanted anyone to see her cry. Ever. And the fact that both John Hagen and Horatio had indications that she wasn't in the correct state of mind didn't sit well with her. 

There were two messages on her machine, both of which she didn't have the energy to check, she didn't want to have anything to do with CSI for the time being, at least before the funeral and testifying against Kerner. 

Those two events had been swirling in her head, not giving her sleep for the passed three days. 

The funeral was tomorrow morning. 

Court was tomorrow afternoon. 

Tomorrow was Wednesday. 

God, Calleigh hated Wednesdays. 

*** 

Tim Speedle hated Wednesdays. 

Nothing good happened to him in the middle of the week. 

Tomorrow was especially a day that would be remembered in infamy- his best friend's ten year death anniversary. 

Lord but he hated Wednesdays. 

He sped down the causeway on his bike, and felt a few drops of rain cascade down his helmet. 

Just peachy. 

Now he hated Tuesdays. 

By the time he made it to his destination, he was soaking wet, but thankfully his peace present was glass cased so he had not to worry about that. 

He parked his bike in front of the apartment building and stepped to the front door, pressing the buzzer for apartment #11. 

Duquesne, C. 

**** 

Calleigh heard the buzzer and was alarmed at first, but then realized that she needed to get up and answer the door. She tryed to wipe away the tears but they just wouldn't budge. 

God, she didn't want anyone to see her like this. However she had a feeling that it would be a good idea to answer the door. So she pressed the button that let the person into the apartment complex. 

It only took Tim a minute to get her apartment since it was on the first floor. His peace present in hand as he knocked on the door. 

He didn't know what to expect, but what he saw when she answered the door, was totally unexpected. She was a mess. He meant that in the nicest way possible. 

Her hair was uncombed and thrown into a loose ponytail. Her eyes were red and puffy and she still had tears streaming down her face. 

He didn't see much more then that, because he had pulled her in for a comforting hug. 

*** 

Calleigh hadn't expected to see Tim standing infront of her when she opened the door, but she was glad he was there. Something about his friendship always made things feel easier, better even, and at that moment, that was what she needed. 

She wasn't sure who made the first move, but some how they ended up in a comforting embrace. She felt safe in safe in his arms. Safe enough to just rest her head on his chest and cried. 

She felt Tim tighten his arms around her , simaltaniously kissing her forehead. He caressed her back,as he whispered into her ear. 

"Calleigh, I am so sorry. I know how close you two were." 

The sincerity in his voice made Calleigh cry even harder. His statement was sinecer and that ment so much to her. 

Tim hoped that she truly understood that he cared. And he took the extra heavy sobs as a sign that she did. 

He could feel Calleigh starting to lose her balance, and picked her up and moved her into the apartment and layed her down on the couch. 

He couldn't tell if she had passed out or if she was sleeping, but either way he was worried. He tried to wake her, but she wouldn't budge. He decided just to watch her as she seemingly slept. 

He could tell that she had been crying heavily for a long time, because her cheecks were stained and her undereye's were puffy. Her hair was a mess if he every saw one. And her attir of sweats and a tanktop, completed the look of a grieving woman. 

For some reason unknown to him, Tim found her to be the most beautiful woman. 

It wasn't just her looks that made him think this. It was also the fact that they delt with death every day, and so many had become immune to it, but she hadn't. 

He knew that she cried about other cases. He had caught her a few times at work. 

And now when someone so close to her had been murdered she let herself grieve. 

He knew that she wasn't cold hearted, but at first glance, you would have thought she would stay strong through anything. However if you dug deeper you would see that things really did effect her. 

He found that to be a very attractive quality in her. 

He was pulled out of his thoughts when he noticed her starting to come too. 

As Calleigh began to come to, the first thing she noticed was the bottle of rum sitting next Tim. She couldn't help but make some kind of joke about it even though she knew it wasn't the time for jokes. 

"I see you brought me a present," her voice scratching, but still teasing. 

"Hey, who said I was going to share with you?: he tesed back. 

"Funny , Tim, very funny" she couldn't help but roll her eyes at him. 

Tim was amazed at how fast she could go from being passed out from so many tears, to teasing him. He knew that it was mostly likely a cover for how she really was feeling. He just hoped that she would stop pretending to be something she wasn't. He wanted her to trust him enough to talk to him. To open up. 

"So how are you feelin'. You were out for a few minutes there," tim said tenderly as he moved from the coffee table to the couch. 

Calleigh heard his question and saw his move but didn't respond to either. She had wanted to some much to just tell him everything and cry all night with him, but she didn't want to ruin her image. 

However any thought her image went down the drain as a tear slide down her cheek. Tim turned her face toward his and he saw the tear as it made it's way down her face, accompanied by a few others. He wipped away the tears that were coming down at that moment. 

He couldn't stand seeing her this way, and pulled her to him once again that evening. 

Calleigh knew the moment that he wipped away her tears that she had to open up to him. She has seen respect and concern in his eyes, instead of the pity she had expected to see.She knew that she had to trust him. After all he had been the only one to come and check up on her, and for the right reason's to boot. So she chose to answer his question truthfully. 

"I'm not doin' to good, Tim," she sniffled out. 

" I know your not. C'mon here," he whispered as he leaned back and let her cuddle up against his chest. 

Both of them held on to each other, Calleigh sobs and sniffles the only sound in the room. 

TBC... 

Review please! 

If you want more you have to review! 


	2. Grief

A/N:Hey I am finally going to update this! I've been working little by little on this, and here is the next installment of 'Breathing'. I promise there will be more. 

Disclaimer:Don't own a thing. 

Pairing:Speed/Calleigh friendship with a little romance 

Rating: P-G 13 (I never know) 

***************************** 

"Why'ed she have to die?" Calleigh asked in a very vunerable voice breaking the silence that had settled upon the room. 

"I don't know," he said sadly as he kissed the top of her head 

" Why does anyone have to die for that matter," he asked a minute latter. 

Something in his voice told Calleigh that she was not the only one in the room that had lost someone close to them. She just needed a way to get him to open up to her. 

"We all have to die at some point Tim. Its just even more heart breaking when it happens to someone who had so much a head of them," Calleigh said through a new wave of tears. 

She couldn't help but think of everything that Janet had going for her. 

Calleighs words hit home for Tim. Thoughts of Tony came to his mind. He had had so much life left to live, and one stupid mistake took that all away. 

Even though the accident had happened over ten years before, Tim could feel angery tears coming to his eyes. But he told himself to buck up. This was Calleighs time to grieve. It was her time to be comforted. 

And thats why he cuddled closer with her. Silently letting her know that he was a safe place to go. That he was someone she could depend on. 

That was how Calleigh felt too. That she was safe with him. She realized that she had ruined her I'm-strong-enough-to-handle-anything-on-my-own image, and frankly, at that moment she could care less. 

She was wrapped in the arms of a man who cared enough about her and her well being, to come and see how she was, and cared enough to stick around when he saw her world crumbing at her feet. 

The only way she could describe him was, her hero. And she didn't know how to pay back the favor. 

But as she sat there, thinking over what had happened that evening, she remembered that something was eating at him. 

She knew it had something to do with having losted someone close to him. She just needed to find out who and when. 

"Tim?"she said his name quietly, but loud enough to get his attention. 

"Umhum." He was too lost in thought, and the feel of having Calleigh curled up next to him to form a coherant response. 

"Have you ever lost a bestfriend?" she asked sadly. She didn't know where the question had come from,but all in all she was glad she asked it. 

Tim was taken aback by her question, but chose to answer it anyway. He knew he would be opening old wounds, but something inside him told said that if he did now, the wounds would be healed better to some degree. 

"Yes. I have lost a bestfriend." he said slowly, pausing before he continued." His name was Tony, and he died when we were 18. We were on our sinor trip to Aspen, and there was a snowmobil accident and he was killed,"he didn't go into much detail, but still felt like he has revealed so much about himself. 

Tim had no clue where the courage to tell all of that came from but he was glad that he had. 

"I'm sorry. I can honestly say that I know how much that must have hurt. How much it must still hurt."she said quitly as she looked up into his misty eye's that mirrored her own. 

"Yeah, it still hurts,"he said with a small smile as he cupped her face;caressing her cheek with his thumb."But you find that you have to grieve and then move on. You realize there are more important things in this world, people, to focus your energy on.There does come a point where life becomes easier to handle." he said knowingly. 

This tid-bit of information made Calleigh feel hopeful,yet fearful at the same time, making more tears pool in her eyes. 

He saw a tear spill from her puffy eyes and gentally whipped it away. He felt her do the same to him, and only then did he realize that he had been crying. 

She saw the embarrassment flash across the soulful eyes she had been staring into, and leaned forward to kiss him lightly on the cheek,before whispering into his ear. 

"There's nothing to be ashamed of Tim. Everyone has to cry at some point in their lives.Espeically after such a lose." 

She pulled away enough to look at his reaction to her words. 

She saw a rainbow of emtions flash over his face, before it landed on slightly unreadable. 

"Calleigh..." he tried to reason with her. To tell her that it was her time to greive, not his, but she wouldn't let him even start. 

"Tim...Shhhhh." she said as she straddled his waist and put a finger to his lips." We BOTH are grieving, and dealing with these loses.So let's be there for each other." She begged him ,as tears once again streamed down her face. 

Tim understood that this was what she needed, and complyed to her wishes, with a simple ,"okay," as he brushed away her tears and fixed her hair. 

"Thank you," she sofly drawled as she searched his eye's for an indication that her next move would be recipriacted. When she found it she leaned down gentaly, lightly kissing Tim's lips. 

******* 

Don't kill me for leaving it there. I promise to work on getting another part up soon. I hope you enjoyed it and as always please review! 

~Dorothy 


	3. The Kiss

A/N: I finally have found some time to work on this and have gotten over my  
slight bout with writers block. I just have to give a big thank you to the song  
'lean on me' by Al Green, it gave me the inspiration to get this chapter going  
again! I also wanted to apologize for my slight absence lately. It's suppose to  
be summer vacation, but some how I keep getting sucked into doing something  
that keeps me away from my computer, or leaves me too tiered to sit down and  
write. I'm seriously considering not answering my phone anymore,lol. Okay I  
will shut up and let you get to the story,hehe. 

Disclaimer:Don't own a thing.

Pairing:Speed/Calleigh total fluffy romance

Rating: P-G 13 (I never know)

A/N(2): I just wanted to thank Heidi for getting me writing again. And this chapter is also dedicated to Yana 'cause I have kept her in  
suspense for far too long! Oh and thank you again to everybody who has reviewed  
this story! I'm shutting up again now! lol

"Thank you," she softly drawled as she searched his eye's for an indication  
that her next move would be reciprocated. When she found it she leaned down  
gently, lightly kissing Tim's lips.

The kiss started out light as feathers, but soon turned to a kiss filled with  
passion. Tongues caressed one another, well hands explored bodies.

One of Calleighs hands absently played with the hair at the nape of Tim's neck,  
well he gently caressed the exposed skin of her lower back.

When the kiss finally came to an end, Calleigh pulled away and rested her head  
on Tim's shoulder, and sighed raggedly. Tim was an amazing kisser. And he made  
Calleigh feel something other than grief, and sadness.

Still she couldn't help but feel slightly guilty for experiencing such  
pleasure, when her best friend was dead. Thats when the tears that had  
subsided, crept back into Calleighs eye's and ran down her cheeks, dampening  
Tim's pin stripped button up.

Tim felt the moisture on his shoulder, and the realization that Calleigh was  
again in tears, brought him back from the daze that the kiss had left him in.  
He knew that she probably was feeling guilty, and that hurt him. But he knew  
that she didn't feel guilty about kissing him, she felt guilty for enjoying it.

So he chose not to say anything, and just let her cry some more. He held her  
close, like you would a small child, and reveled in the feeling of having her  
so close to him.

The memory of her lips on his, her skin underneath his fingertips, kept racing  
through his head. He had really enjoyed kissing her, despite how corny that may  
have sounded, he had. It was just a simple fact and it made him slightly giddy,  
leaving a goofy grin on his face.

He didn't want to admit it, but he had fantasized about kissing her( and a lot  
more) since the day he had laid eyes on her. He had never expected their first  
kiss would be a comfort kiss,though.

The closet romantic that he was had wanted it to be something that happened  
over a candle light dinner, or a walk on the beach.Again he hadn't expected it  
to be a comfort kiss. But in their line of work the odds were stacked against  
them. And for some reason or another that didn't really bother him. As long as  
he got to kiss the beauty that was Calleigh Dusquene it didn't matter.

He could have gone on for the rest of his life analyzing the kiss, but was  
pulled out of his thoughts as he felt Calleigh shifting beside him.

She looked up from his chest, her eyes blood shot, her cheeks tear stained, yet  
oxymoron there was a shy but happy smile firmly planted upon her lips. She  
snuggled close to Tim as she found the same smile on his lips.

Calleigh had been thinking much the same as Tim, about the circumstances of  
their first kiss, and had to admit that she never though it would happen,  
period. They were friends, but they weren't scarily close or anything. She  
never thought that he would want her to be anything more than a friend.

She had been more than relieved when she had looked up to see that he wasn't  
totally freaked out, or nervous. So she decided to lighten the mood a little.

"Tim?" her voice was light, but her tears were still evident.

"Hum...?" he was too busy losing himself in her eyes to form a coherent  
response.

" Has anyone ever told you that you are a fabulous kisser?" she asked  
innocently, but the smile on her face was teasing and slightly cocky.

It kinda scared her that she could go from totally broken down to teasing in  
such a short time period. However from her experience this was normal, and the  
shrinks encouraged a little happiness during grief.

"Yeah I get that all the time Cal. I kiss so many women and they all just gush  
about how great a kisser I am." He teased her, sending her into a fit of  
laughter and tears

"You.. You..think.. that your funny.. don't you?" she asked as she still  
giggled, resting her head on his chest again.

Despite the giggle attack, she was still on his lap, though neither really  
noticed.

"Of course I'm funny. You know it, so don't deny it." he said with mock  
seriousness. Calleigh raised her eye brows at his comment, trying hard not to  
burst out laughing again, and nodded in agreement that he truly was funny. She  
wasn't going to deny that fact for anything.

He had a way of making her laugh and make her feel better, even when she was  
adamant about being in a bad mood.And with that in mind she kissed him quickly,  
but passionately, on the lips.

"You know Calleigh, your not too bad of a kisser either." he complemented in a  
teasing way, as he tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. She blushed a little.

" Oh, I'm only 'not too bad' huh? Well I guess we'll just have to work on that,  
now won't we." She teased back, before grabbing the remote and turning the T.V.  
on.

"Oh yeah we can defiantly work on that." he said with a smile before kissing  
her forehead as she got comfy.

The End


End file.
